The relationship, Couples Counselling and Therapy in Brighton & Hove
I am a qualified Couples Counsellor & Therapist. The basis for couples therapy is that I create a therapeutic relationship with more than one person concerning a matter or matters of concern to one or both or more individuals; with both or more prepared to look at the matter or matters confronting or challenging their relationship(s). It might even be individuals starting out in a relationship wondering how best to forge their future together.
Couples therapy, as I practice it, in the main sees therapy as a simultaneous (individual) therapy for two partners. I see it as my task to help them with this, and not to orientate or influence them to choose a particular way to respond to whatever they bring to the counselling room, individually or collectively.
Couples Counselling is about empathic understanding
Empathy, in other words, empathic understanding, has a proper shape in couples therapy. There is not only the individual experience of the individuals concerned to comprehend, but there is also their interactions, their relation upon which my empathic attention is mainly focused. The personal reality of each partner also encompasses the relationship, and this relationship is a relationship between concrete individuals with their own specific problems and personalities
My intention in couples therapy is to contribute to building up a relationship of confidence and letting a good working atmosphere arise so that I can be experienced by the clients as a real presence creating a feeling of solidarity where the clients and I are working on the relationship, and any possible outcomes, together.
The relational problems that clients present tend to be rather different, but certain topics can come back and predominate. A battle for power is common, often about received traditional role patterns. Partners may have a different hierarchy of values and try to impose it in their concrete style of living. Other instances of individuals’ disappointments in expectations of their partners can be around lack of contact or communication; unsatisfactory sexual contact; the existence of an extra-conjugal relationship; clinging too strongly to parents and their own family; personal change in one partner clashing with the rigidity and lack of change in the relationship or in the other partner
Regardless of whatever is brought to the counselling room, I practically pay paramount attention to the communication between the partners as that can lead to a more deep-going therapeutic process. This process speaks less about facts and behaviour and more about feelings and experiences. By intensely listening to the partners I influence them to listen better. When the therapy evolves well in the myriad of circumstances possible, the climate gradually becomes better with a greater desire and ability to listen to one another from whence attitudes, values, and constructive change may take place.
NVC – Nonviolent Communication for relationship issues
I utilise NVC as one of the therapeutic processes. NVC is a process that helps one connect with one’s own feelings and that of others in a way that can lead to well-being and healthy relationships. It is amazing how easy it is to bring about reconciliation and healing when experiencing NVC. The process really quickly heals when people have experienced a lot of pain. Read more about NVC – Nonviolent Communication